Don’t Man-Up. Speak Up, Man
Understanding men’s mental health and breaking the stigma.
· Why is it harder for men to talk about their mental health?
∘ Falling prey to the macho man façade as society expects
∘ Men’s mental health stigma
· How to improve men’s mental health?
∘ Breaking men’s mental health stigma once and for all
· ConclusionSpoiler alert: that’s not a pistol on the young man’s hand. It’s a rose flower.
Mental illness is very much common everywhere and can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, ethnicity, race, biological make-up, and socioeconomic status. Yet, the responses to it still vary between men and women.
Men often don’t talk about their mental health compared to women and that is why men commit suicide more often than women. The stigma around men’s mental health is often the reason for the uneven suicide rates between men and women.
“Although half as many men as women are reported to suffer from depression the rate of suicide in men is three times more prevalent than that in women. Men aged 18 to 24 form the highest suicide group in many countries” — South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG).
Throughout this article, I will be unpacking and breaking the men’s mental health stigma that makes it harder for men to talk about their mental health. I hope to spread more men’s mental health awareness and encourage more men struggling with mental health issues to seek professional help from mental health practitioners.
Why is it harder for men to talk about their mental health?
Falling prey to the macho man façade as society expects
Society’s expectations and traditional gender roles play a role in why men are less likely to discuss or seek help for their mental health problems.
The idea of a macho man is that of someone physically and mentally strong, masculine, dominant, badass, desirable, aggressive, manly, you get the picture. Anything that doesn’t fall into this description is often considered by society as a sign of weakness which often explains why men struggling with depression are often reluctant to seek professional help until it costs them their lives.
While women are expected to vocalize their feelings, show emotions and vulnerability, and ask for help when they need it, men are expected to remain quiet, fight back their tears, man up, and face their challenges head-on and by themselves, otherwise “they’ll be showing weakness”.
How do you ask for help when society keeps on telling you that asking for it is nothing short of being a weakling? How often have you heard of gender stereotypes such as men don’t cry, men don’t feel pain? What was your reaction when you first saw a man having an emotional breakdown, a nervous breakdown, and admitting a heartbreak?
If you were taken by surprise or shocked by what you saw, I’m sorry to say you have also fallen victim to gender stereotyping, my friend, which is why prevailing depression among men should not come off as a surprise.
Since society has taught men that talking about their feelings, expressing their emotions, and asking for help when struggling with mental health issues such as depression are “signs of weakness”, they suppress their feelings and suffer in silence. They also feel fear, shame, and guilt when they can no longer be strong and so, they don’t ask for help even when they need it. This doesn’t go without its consequences on their mental health and well-being.
Having said that, the stigma towards men’s mental health should not come off as a surprise.
Men’s mental health stigma
The stigma associated with mental illness is still prevalent in society which also explains the reluctance of men struggling with it to ask for help.
Since men who struggle with mental illness often don’t ask for help or go to therapy, it remains undiagnosed and as a result, it can be hard to know for sure the nature and extent to which men struggle with mental illness. This is likely to create a gap in statistics about the prevalence of mental illness among men.
“Research suggests that men are less likely to seek treatment for depression, a serious illness which can be successfully treated. Data also shows that men die by suicide at four times the rate of women” — South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG).
Research also suggests that men who can’t open up about their mental health problems are less likely to recognize their symptoms of depression, not to mention seek professional help. This takes a toll on their mental health and well-being and they resort to alcohol and drug abuse to cope with their mental health problems, or worse, commit suicide.
The symptoms which are more prevalent among men struggling with depression than women also struggling with depression may include:
- irritability, anger, and frustration
- insomnia
- substance abuse (men are two to three times more likely than women to resort to alcohol and drug abuse when they are struggling with depression)
- workaholism
- poor work performance
- isolation and withdrawal
- loss of interest in work and leisure
- hopelessness
- suicidal thoughts and attempts
“Instead of acknowledging their feelings, asking for help, or seeking appropriate treatment, men with depression may be more likely to turn to alcohol or drugs, or to become frustrated, discouraged, angry or irritable. Some men throw themselves compulsively into their work or hobbies, attempting to hide their depression from themselves, family, and friends” — South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG).
So, to reduce the prevalence of alcohol and drug abuse and suicide among men struggling with depression, thus having more depressed men seeking professional help, breaking the stigma of men’s mental health, and spreading more mental health awareness should be of priority.
How to improve men’s mental health?
Breaking men’s mental health stigma once and for all
Need I say more? What better way to break the men’s mental health stigma besides knowing the above facts about men’s mental health? What better way to remove the image of the pistol from our minds and see the rose flower for what it really is, a rose flower?
Men are just as human as women are. They too feel pain, cry, struggle with mental health issues, and need help. So, help them, starting with educating yourself more on the reality of men’s mental health.
After all, it is okay to not be okay.
Conclusion
It is now obvious that men too do suffer from mental health issues, but they often don’t ask for professional help because society expects them to be strong and when they can’t be strong, they feel fear, shame and guilt and they don’t ask for help. This is how men’s mental health stigma is created and it puts their mental health and well-being at risk: they end up resorting to alcohol and drug abuse, or even worse, commit suicide.
So, to break the stigma towards men’s mental health, people must acknowledge that men’s mental health is no different from women’s in a sense that men too also struggle with mental health issues. The only difference is the stigma when it comes to men’s mental health which often explains a relatively higher suicide rate of men compared to women.
To men currently struggling with depression and other mental health issues, I am 100% on your side and I support you, but I urge you to stop manning up and start speaking up and ask for help, man! Help is readily available.
And remember, it is okay to not be okay.
